Two important skills we teach in ABA therapy are turn-taking and sharing. These may seem like simple childhood behaviors, but for many children—especially those with autism or developmental delays—learning to wait, take turns, and share can be challenging. With the right strategies, patience, and reinforcement, these skills can become part of a child’s daily interactions.
Why Are Turn-Taking and Sharing Important?
Turn-taking and sharing are foundational social skills that help children navigate play, friendships, and group activities. When children learn to wait their turn and share, they build patience, cooperation, and flexibility—all critical skills for social success.
Many problem behaviors, such as grabbing toys, meltdowns, or refusing to participate, often stem from difficulties with turn-taking and sharing. By explicitly teaching these skills, we help reduce frustration and create more positive social interactions.
Step-by-Step Guide to Teaching Turn-Taking
Step 1: Use Highly Motivating Activities
Start by choosing an activity that your child enjoys, such as playing with a favorite toy, rolling a ball, or pressing buttons on a toy. The more motivated they are, the more likely they will engage in turn-taking.
Step 2: Model the Behavior
Show your child what turn-taking looks like. For example, if you are playing with a toy car, say, "My turn!" and roll the car. Then, say, "Your turn!" and hand it to the child. Reinforce their participation with praise like, "Great job waiting for your turn!"
Step 3: Use Visual Supports or Timers
Some children benefit from visual cues, such as a "My Turn/Your Turn" card or a simple timer to signal when it’s time to switch turns. Timers help create predictability and reduce anxiety around waiting.
Step 4: Reinforce Waiting
If your child struggles with waiting, offer praise or small rewards for successfully waiting their turn. You can say, "I love how you're waiting so patiently!" while providing a small reinforcer like a high five or sticker.
Step 5: Expand to Peer Play
Once your child is comfortable taking turns with an you, introduce peer or sibling interactions. Supervise and guide the process, prompting the child as needed to wait their turn and reinforce successful exchanges.
Step-by-Step Guide to Teaching Sharing
Step 1: Start with Highly Preferred Items
Choose toys or objects that your child enjoys but is willing to share. Avoid beginning with their absolute favorite item, as this can create resistance.
Step 2: Model Sharing in a Fun Way
Demonstrate sharing by offering a toy to your child and saying, "I’m sharing with you!" Then, encourage them to do the same: "Now, you share with me!" Use enthusiasm and make it a fun exchange.
Step 3: Reinforce Small Steps
If your child hands over a toy, even briefly, offer immediate praise: "Wow! You shared so nicely!" Reinforcement can be verbal praise, a small token, or access to another fun activity.
Step 4: Use Turn-Taking as a Bridge to Sharing
Some children find it easier to take turns than to give up an item completely. Start with turn-taking and gradually increase the duration the child shares an item before getting it back.
Step 5: Generalize to Real-Life Situations
Practice sharing in different environments, such as at the park, during playdates, or in group activities. Encourage parents and caregivers to model and reinforce sharing at home.
Overcoming Common Challenges
My child refuses to take turns: Start with very short turns (a few seconds) and gradually increase the duration.
My child gets upset when asked to share: Use positive reinforcement and introduce a "sharing timer" to indicate when they’ll get the item back.
My child doesn’t understand the concept of waiting: Use visual supports or count out loud ("1, 2, 3—your turn!") to create predictability.
Teaching turn-taking and sharing takes time, but with consistency, encouragement, and reinforcement, children can learn these valuable social skills. At Pathways 2 Potential, we believe every child has the potential to develop meaningful relationships, and learning to take turns and share is a huge step in that direction!
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